Thursday, July 30, 2015

Revising sentences By Shailah

Today I have been learning about word DRAFT. DRAFT is like an aacrostic poem. Each leter of this word mean something in writing. Today we have been focusing on the D. D stands for delete. In class Miss Paton shared with us a picece of writing  in which we had to Delete, take out words and change sentences. Here is my piece of writing.

Miss Paton’s copy

Miss Paton has a cat. His name is Oscar. He is a tabby cat. Oscar can be a pain in the neck. He likes to sniff my rubbish bin. He always come to my house wanting food. Oscar likes to fall asleep on my couch. He does not like my laptop computer. He would rather sit on my lap. Oscar would like me to give him the attention. 68 word's

My copy
Miss Paton has a cat called Oscar, he’s a tabby cat. Oscar can be a pain, as he likes to sniff my rubbish. He always comes to my house for food. Oscar likes to fall asleep . He hate’s  my laptop computer. He would  sit on my lap and  get the attention.
51 word’s

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